I think I saw you in my sleep, darling.

symmetrry

I think I saw you in my sleep, darling.

So this weekend was nice, I went to Disney World with my girlfriend and I can say that I’m pretty happy, pretty upbeat. I’ve changed alot over the weekend, or at least alot about my mentality.

For one I’m done being so self-conscious about my relationship. I’m done letting stupid insecurities keep me from showing you how much your worth. And I think I’ve sorta proved that this weekend, I just need to keep to it. 

Aside from that, it was a really fun trip. Saturday was my favorite. We went to Epcot and Magic Kingdom, but Magic Kingdom was my favorite, I’m pretty sure hers too. We were so happy and carefree and fun, and for those moments, I felt so genuinely happy and in love and just everything was good and nothing was bad and nothing hurt anymore. I wish I could go back and stay in that moment forever. 

Night came however, and we got into an argument. And that was a bummer but we got through it quick. Which I guess is a good thing. I’m glad we get through arguments quick, we don’t cling onto them. But I just hate arguing, I hate it so much, you have no idea. Thinking about it right now gets me emotional because it fucking hurts arguing with you. I hate it more than anything. And I know our arguments are stupid and alot of the time its because we make a big deal about the stupidest things. And then I get so frustrated and hurt and scared when we fight and I cry like an idiot and like a “razzleberry” and I feel stupid. But I can’t help it because when we fight and we get like that, my deepest fears come to life. And then to end them, I’ll just admit my faults, I’ll apologize because the fights aren’t even worth it. Its just,  I don’t want anything to happen to us. This is one of the greatest things in my life to happen to me, us, and I don’t want anything to happen to it, I won’t let anything happen to it. I’m just so tired of stupid fights.I don’t want to fight anymore. Please, lets not fight anymore. I’m trying my best to be the best for you,

Either way, I’m really glad you came, I’m really glad my weekend was spent with you. I love you so unbelievably much. I’m so glad I was with you, and even then I wouldn’t mind spending some more time with you. I can’t get enough. We’ve almost been together for half a year, this is by far my longest relationship. Not that it even matters, time has become nonexistant to me in this relationship, while it’s nice to measure out to see the lengths you’ve lasted, it’s as if we’ve been suspended in time, and I’ve no care for time, or any other factor, just us.

I’m so in love with you, I swear. And you’re so lovely, I can’t stop but look at you and hold you close. 

Sleeping with you was nice. And no, not in that way to anyone who reads this. Not in a sexual way at all. We just laid together, in each others arms, and we fell asleep. And it was one of the nicest experiences, even if you did occasionally take up all the blanket. Ending the day with you, only to start the next with you again. And waking up to your face, I don’t think I would’ve preferred to start my day any other way. 

I’m happy. While I’m still trying to better myself, better us, better everything, I can say that I’m no longer struggling to be happy. I am happy. 

So let’s stick to our plans. Let’s break the stereotypes and prove the world wrong about people like us, kids in love. Let’s keep our promises to ourselves and each other. Lets stick to all our outrageous plans of owning husky puppies named Morpheus and owning apartments by the ocean. Lets keep true to these things because I’m sure we can do em’. I’m pretty sure. 

Okay, I love you, goodnight, love. 

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  1. symmetrry posted this